But, God.

I’m forgiven.

This is a basic tenet of Christianity. I’m  forgiven for my sin because of Christ’s work on the cross and resurrection from the garden tomb. But, oh how I take this for granted!

I think it’s because I don’t really understand.

I screw up and sin over and over and I take that forgiveness so greedily. So how do I understand just what He’s done? How do we understand that God loves us even while we were sinners? He knows us so well and still loves us.


Have you ever seen someone forgive? It’s hard to get your head around. A lie, an affair, a debt.

It’s not until we have to extend forgiveness that we can begin to fathom the depth of what God has done for us.

Now, I grew up with a little sister. We argued constantly. There were so many slights and offenses against each other. Is that just the nature of maturing with another human being? No matter how dogged a fight was,  we’d be giggling together again in a flash. We share so much history! Even though she lives 200 miles away, she is my dearest friend. I love her like crazy. Like nut-house crazy.

But what if you have forgive someone you don’t love? What if it is your child someone hurts? And you can forgive and a relationship can be healed. For a mother, me at least, I can more quickly forgive someone who has hurt me than someone who hurts my child.

I have been in situations where I’m absolutely obsessed with an offense. It’s all I can think about: this thing that happened to my child. Whether it is some small slight or a major situation.
It’s all consuming.
First think every morning, last in the evening, and haunting my dreams.
That bitterness hunts every ounce of joy and consumes it.

But God.

I love ‘but God’ movements. Times when He steps in.
TheHoly Spirit works a miracle.
Peace and joy invade every ounce of my soul so that it can only be said to be supernatural.
I’ll never be able to come up with words adequate for describing. It’s beyond the scope of human ability to understand. More than a choice, a prayerful submitting to His power.

choose joy


When you come away from an experience like that, you can only look at it with awe and wonder. Sometimes I take out that memory and hold it up to the light, scrutinize it. But all I see is the light of Christ filling me anew with wonder. I then fall on my face with love and adoration as I realize what He has done for me.

How could anyone ever forgive all my sin. Every lie, every angry word, every bit of hate and lust and envy and so much strife and… so much more I struggle to admit in writing. All of it just wiped clean.

Here’s the thing: it’s not just my sin that caused Jesus to cry out to His Father on the cross.  “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” For all of time and more, before time, Jesus was never separate from His Father. Until then. Because of my sin. A dreadful wretch am I.

So, what about you? Have you grasped an understanding of forgiveness? Is it because you forgave someone? Love never fails

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